Jumbled Focus

Holy Cow!  Well, so much for blogging every day.  (sigh)  No need to grumble about it, let's just move on, shall we?

Today was the last day of school.  Woo Hoo!!!   Oh, right - the last day of school for my daughters.  I spent most of the day with the school community because our school has a tradition of everyone going to the park to have lunch.  Essentially, I was at the park from 10:15 - 12:30.  I told any mom who would listen, "You know you've volunteered too much when you're excited to not step foot into the school for three months."  If you know me, you're cracking up right now, because I was the mom who always said she wasn't going to be the crazy volunteer mom at the school every day.  Well, I am.  (Again - a huge thanks to two friends who saw something in me I hadn't seen in myself!)

In all honesty, I did overdo it a bit.  Definitely a lot all at the end of the year - hence not wanting to go back into the school.  To top it off, my kids' dad was out of the country for over two weeks.  Crazy volunteer lady + procrastination + single mom = one exhausted mama!  I spent the majority of the last month thinking, "I've just got to make it through the 23rd."  At the beginning of the week, I could hardly see straight.  (two hours of sleep will do that to you)  So I thought that when all was said and done today, it was going to be like pulling teeth to get me to think about anything school or activity related for a while.  Instead the craziest thing happened.

Once I did, indeed make it through the 23rd, everything got clearer.  It's like there were cobwebs in my head and once I got done with "the end of the year" I was able to look ahead.  All of a sudden instead of the thoughts in my brain being very loud white noise, they were very specific.

Meet with the principal to schedule the Fall Fling.  Make a list for the new auction chair volunteer to ask the previous auction chair volunteer.  Get the Fit Club DVDs finalized and delivered.  Nail down new co-leaders for the older girl scout troop.  Does there need to be a third younger girl scout troop?  Email PTA treasurer about Fall Fling funds.  Who would be interested in being in charge of the Fit Club t-shirts for next year?  The gal who saved me this year?  Will she want to do it again?  How soon can I ask her?  Wait!  Fall Fling first!!!  Connect with the chair positions who need to do tasks over the summer.  New games?  Better payment options?  Decorations?  Who are the girls' teachers going to be next year?  How can I possibly wish for a certain 4th grade teacher when I've heard ALL of them are fab?  Summer camps!  Swim team?  Schedule Texas road trip.  Spring cleaning!!!  (I did mention procrastination, didn't I?)

As you can see, this is why it's "jumbled" focus.  The cobwebs are cleared out, so I can finally think again, but I'm still all over the place.  Here's the good news: jumbled focus is better than no focus at all.  Tomorrow is officially "summer planning day," so let the lists begin!  I know the above paragraph looks like a whole lotta crazy - but two years ago, at least half of those thoughts wouldn't have even entered my head.  That's called progress, my friends.  I am renewed.  I am excited.  I am sure that I'll get this school thing all figured out by the time my children graduate!  And in the meantime, I'm breathing a sigh of relief that with the clarity comes excitement.  I thought I was going to dread starting all over again, but I'm not.

This last year was SO FUN!!!  As crazy as it sometimes was, it was fun!  And I can't wait to do it all over again.  So here's to a great summer, a million lists and jumbled focus - life is good!!!

Focus on the Moment

I have always looked to what's ahead.  I'm sure that's why when I was little my grandmother used to preach, "Don't wish your life away!"  It's easy to do though, isn't it?  When you're little, you want to grow into a teenager to be cool.  When you're  a teenager, you want to be an adult so that you can call your own shots.  Even as an adult, I always looked forward.  When I get married...  When I have a baby...  When I have another baby...  When they go to school...  When summer comes...  Of course I could go on and on.

It was quite a while ago that I realized that you can miss a lot by thinking about the future.  Of course there has to be some amount of planning and what not, but if you're always looking ahead - can you ever enjoy now?  The first year I was married was an awesome year.  We took some sort of vacation or long weekend almost every month.  We spent a lot of time with our friends and on our hobbies.  We were still in the ga-ga phase.  Life was great!

Thank goodness I took lots of pictures to remind me of that, because that was also the first year we tried to get pregnant.  It didn't happen quickly.  And although trying was fun, I spent most of that year thinking about what it was going to be like when I got pregnant and when we had another little life in our house.  I definitely enjoyed that year, but I think I would've enjoyed it more if I had been paying attention to what was going on at the moment instead of always looking to the future.

I recently read Gretchen Rubin's new book "Happier at Home" and one of her resolutions was to "experience the experience."  Obviously, this wasn't a new concept to me, but it was a great reminder.  It's so easy to think about future goals and aspirations, future vacations, or even to focus on tasks that need to get done.  Even when your adorable daughter is in the middle of telling a great story, the mind wanders.  But every moment that passes is gone forever - we can't get it back.  I don't want to think, "I wish I would've paid attention!"  Instead I want to bask in the glory of what is right in front of me, right now!