Fear is a BAD Thing!!!

I had dinner with a good friend last night.  It was one of those "I need to talk out all of the problems of my life" dinners.  I would never betray her confidence by writing all of the details - or any of the details, for that matter.  I'm just happy to say that I'm glad I could be there for my friend (as she has always been there for me).  I'm also happy to say that even though some of these kinds of conversations are difficult, I'm always glad I've had them.  I always feel better after "thinking through" something, getting someone else's take on it.  To be the therapist (intentionally or otherwise) and help someone reach an a-ha moment or think of something in a different light or with a different purpose is always rewarding.  Of course, selfishly, I love it when I'M the one who has the a-ha moment.  Or even when you think you're talking about them, but then realize how the very same topic relates to your own life.  What I love even more is when you can see a common thread woven through their life and yours - and maybe even in other areas of your life.

That's what I realized had happened this morning - in more than one way.

Recently, I had an a-ha moment.....about fear.  It was actually about this blog.  After my friend helped me set it up and I spent the rest of the night writing my All About Me page, I was lying in bed wondering, "Is this stupid?  Is anything really going to come of writing a blog?  Is anyone going to care?  What if no one reads it?  What if I write something about my family or a friend and they get mad at me?  I'm not sure this was such a good idea."  That was the thought I fell asleep to.

The next morning when I woke up, I found myself thinking about hanging pictures on walls.  Two decades ago, if I wanted a picture hung on a wall, I just hung it up.  It's not rocket science - nail, hammer, picture - done.  Well, Mike's not exactly handy, and the first time I tried to hang up a shade, he came unglued.  "You can't just hang it.  We don't know what we're doing.  We have to call our handy friend.  He knows what he's doing!"  I thought he was overreacting a bit, but he was so worked up about it, I waited.  Fast forward fifteen years and I'm terrified to put a nail in a wall.  It's funny to hear my "handy friend's" reaction when I say, "I'll have to find someone to help me hang that."  She gets her "you poor dear" voice on and gently says, "You know, you can hang a picture if you want to."  "I can, can't I?"  (a-ha!)

I know it doesn't seem like these two things would be related, but they are.  It's not being afraid of the big things that lead you to live a fearful life, it's being afraid of the little things.  Picture after picture, I "waited" for someone else to come hang it up - even when there was a hammer in the house and I knew where the nails were.  Waiting, waiting, waiting.  Never even trying.  As soon as I realize that the reason I'm thinking about hanging pictures is because I'm really thinking about fear, I connect the dots.  So what if no one reads my blog?  So what if nothing comes of it?  I'm still writing - which is what I want to do.  I may not be doing it "properly".  I may not use perfect sentence structure or perfect grammar.  I'm sure I start too many sentences with "and" and "but".  But, (haha) what if something does come of it.  What if I get brave enough to explore other writing opportunities.  What if this is what I can show someone and even if they tell me I did it all wrong - wouldn't that be a learning experience?  Wouldn't that teach me what not to do?  And, (haha again) what if I were actually doing something right?  What if on a random day something I write here leads to an awesome opportunity?  To be honest, if something I write does so little as to touch someone else's life, help them reach an a-ha moment, make them laugh or even just bring a smile to their face, then it was worth it - worth the emotional risk.

What if I had let fear paralyze me?  Because that's what fear does.  It makes you doubt yourself.  "What if I fail?"  Well, if we never fail, haven't we missed opportunities to learn?  Again, nothing may ever come of this, but at least I will know that I tried it - and I will have no regrets. 

Now to tie this all together.  Last night with my friend, there was a lot of talk about fear as well.  Again, I won't share the details, but I did have several moments when I found it amazing that I had just recently had my fear a-ha moment, and now I was talking about it with her.  Furthermore, this morning I was in a meeting and the speaker was talking about how wearing a wet suit made her a more confident water skier.  She likened it to a super hero's super suit.  Hmm...when you have confidence, you don't really let fear seep in.  Your "super suit" keeps fear out.  There's that thread again - reinforcing that my a-ha moment wasn't a fluke.  It was something I was supposed to learn.  And because God is thorough, I'm getting it from many different angles.  Ok, ok - I get it.  Fear is a bad thing.  And the last thing I want to do is to let my life be ruled by it.

This is indeed a year of change for me, so I had better add this to my list.  Recognize when fear is what's stopping me, look it in the face and no matter how scary it is - conquer it!