Well I am feeling great right now! And no, it's not the glass of wine I had. (Thanks again, Steph!) It's that this has been an amazing day!!! The last couple of weeks - and especially the last couple of days - have been up and down with a lot of stress. My dad has been in and out of the hospital with one thing after another. I am normally a pretty positive person - thanks mostly to The Secret and The Happiness Project - but even when you're positive about an outcome, sometimes the "going through it" part is difficult.
There are so many pieces that I try to fit together in these situations. First and foremost, I try to stay positive. Not just for myself, but for all involved. Next, I try to be supportive - doing whatever I can to make the people I love more comfortable. I try to be understanding. We're all stressed out - trying to keep our focus on my dad while trying to make sense out of how it effects each of us individually. Of course, we're all tightly wound in these circumstances, so when someone loses it, I try to not take it personally and forgive. In addition to all of that, I try to cut myself some slack when I fall short and figure out how to rejuvenate when I'm depleted.
Sometimes that's a tall order to fill. Today however, all of the pieces fit into place. Now I don't mean to diminish the stress of the situation. My dad did have surgery. There are always the possibilities of complications or things not working out the way we hope they will. So of course there was stress and worry. However, I kept my positive attitude. I was sure that he would come through the surgery and that it would be successful. It was! Emotionally, we all came together and made each other laugh and kept each other going through the "waiting, waiting, waiting" period. But today I lucked out. One of my friends blessed our family by bringing us breakfast and coffee (as well as lunch yesterday) so no worries about who was going to get which kind of food and when. No decisions had to be made. No one had to worry that while they were out getting food, the doctor might come - food was already there - woohoo!
She also blessed us with a beautiful prayer. It was not only touching, but it brought me back to being thankful for all that I have been blessed with already. I lucked out again in that no one went off the deep end today. I can't speak for anyone else, so maybe someone was on the edge. But outwardly, we all held it together and were able to keep each other laughing. I had a lovely dinner with the women of my family and I am thankful for each one of them. (Thanks for letting your mom stay out late, cuz!)
When we got the results of the surgery, it was mostly good news - only one small worry left - but my dad did great! The doctors - who I like to refer to as "the best of the best" and "Dr. Hottie" did a wonderful job and are very focused on the big picture - keeping my dad and his appendages in tact. I feel like he has the very best care he could get. The staff is great and we have not one complaint about them or the facility (knock on wood).
However --- all of this pales in comparison to one little thing - my dad's smile! When we first got to see him after the surgery, he was still pretty drugged and yet still in a bit of pain. No one likes to see someone they love in pain, so seeing him cringe at the cramp in his leg was unpleasant to say the least. It wasn't long before they started to get his pain managed and he started to wake up a bit. I understand that normally in these situations, most people take comfort in talking to their loved one or hearing a certain phrase or a certain tone in their voice. And of course all of that is good for me too. But here was the best part of my day.....
One of my sisters was sitting behind him, one was at his side and my mom and I were facing him. My sister sitting behind him made a comment and he responded to her. I immediately laughed out loud. Both of my sisters and my mom asked, "What did he say?" (he has a very loud vent in his room which makes it very difficult to hear him speak) And my answer was this, "I have no idea, but by the smile on his face, he thinks he's being funny!"
There are so many things I love about my dad. But I have to say that his desire to laugh is on the top of my list. It's the thing that gives me the most confidence that he's ok. Of course, he's not smiling or laughing all of the time. He's going through a lot, has been in a lot of pain and I know the worry gets to him. But he still wants to laugh. He still wants to make us laugh. And watching him smile as the four of "his girls" fought over who was his favorite and who got to give him the last kiss goodbye for the night was the best gift he could give me today.
With Father's Day being tomorrow, I can't imagine what I could possibly give him that's better than that. A new pair of slippers just won't cut it. So I guess when I visit him tomorrow, I'll do my best to give him what he still desires - a good laugh. And then we'll both get a gift - because if I'm successful, I'll get to see that smile!
Saturday, June 16, 2012
Friday, June 15, 2012
Distraction: Who Am I?
*Sigh!*
The last couple of weeks have been very up and down for me. My dad has been in and out of the hospital (currently in) and we've been very busy. I spent the day at the hospital and I will do the same tomorrow. There's definitely a part of me that wants to detail everything that's been going on with him, his health and his care. However; there's also a part of me that just wants to think about something else for a bit. So.....selfishness and my "it's all about me" attitude wins out and I'm going to blog about my personal little distraction.
Back to my Happiness Project! I realize that this is only my second post of the month, but I have scrapbooked (digitally) three or four times and I went on a hike on Tuesday. What I'm still so jazzed about is riding the success of last month! I've been to the gym four times this month - which doesn't sound super impressive compared to last month, but I was out of town for four days, so it's a little impressive. While I was out of town, I walked - a ton! - and I already mentioned my hike this week. So the exercise is still going well. But here's the amazing part.....
As I said, I was at the hospital all day today and I have to be back early in the morning. Here's the strange part: at some point today, I thought, "maybe I'll work out in the morning before I come back." So I checked the website and my gym doesn't open until 7:00am on Saturdays. Bummer - I have to be at the hospital by 8:00, so that won't work. Then I realized that it's open until 10:00 tonight. Here's the stranger part: I thought, "I could go when I get home tonight." Wait for it..... here's the strangest part: I actually went!!!
Who am I???
I am not that girl! You know - that girl that I make fun of and call a "freak" because she goes to the gym at 9 o'clock at night! Well, hold onto your hats, my friends, because apparently I am that girl. I got home, packed my gym bag and headed to the gym. And just to put the icing on the cake - I got to see one of my friends there - woohoo! I got in a workout, I soaked in the hot tub, took a shower and I feel great! Physically, my body is relaxed, my mind is clear and I'm focused. Mentally, I'm super proud - albeit surprised - that I went to the gym instead of plopping down in front of the TV.
Of course, my dad is still on my mind, but I feel like I've cleared my head and can think even more positively for him and be a better support for my mom. Someone should tell people about the positive effects of working out (haha). And just to brag a bit more ('cause I'm on a roll) I'm on day eight without soda! I was averaging about one every five days, but currently I'm at eight. My dad's hospital stay will be a good test of my soda craving since it's definitely a comfort food for me. But I didn't have one yesterday or today, so I'm feeling good about it. And even if I do - it's one soda and I'll start again. Again - who am I?
I'm a girl on a mission! And I only have nine minutes to get to bed only one hour late, so I'm done for tonight. Please send good thoughts and prayers my dad's way and hopefully soon I'll be able to give a good report from both of us!
The last couple of weeks have been very up and down for me. My dad has been in and out of the hospital (currently in) and we've been very busy. I spent the day at the hospital and I will do the same tomorrow. There's definitely a part of me that wants to detail everything that's been going on with him, his health and his care. However; there's also a part of me that just wants to think about something else for a bit. So.....selfishness and my "it's all about me" attitude wins out and I'm going to blog about my personal little distraction.
Back to my Happiness Project! I realize that this is only my second post of the month, but I have scrapbooked (digitally) three or four times and I went on a hike on Tuesday. What I'm still so jazzed about is riding the success of last month! I've been to the gym four times this month - which doesn't sound super impressive compared to last month, but I was out of town for four days, so it's a little impressive. While I was out of town, I walked - a ton! - and I already mentioned my hike this week. So the exercise is still going well. But here's the amazing part.....
As I said, I was at the hospital all day today and I have to be back early in the morning. Here's the strange part: at some point today, I thought, "maybe I'll work out in the morning before I come back." So I checked the website and my gym doesn't open until 7:00am on Saturdays. Bummer - I have to be at the hospital by 8:00, so that won't work. Then I realized that it's open until 10:00 tonight. Here's the stranger part: I thought, "I could go when I get home tonight." Wait for it..... here's the strangest part: I actually went!!!
Who am I???
I am not that girl! You know - that girl that I make fun of and call a "freak" because she goes to the gym at 9 o'clock at night! Well, hold onto your hats, my friends, because apparently I am that girl. I got home, packed my gym bag and headed to the gym. And just to put the icing on the cake - I got to see one of my friends there - woohoo! I got in a workout, I soaked in the hot tub, took a shower and I feel great! Physically, my body is relaxed, my mind is clear and I'm focused. Mentally, I'm super proud - albeit surprised - that I went to the gym instead of plopping down in front of the TV.
Of course, my dad is still on my mind, but I feel like I've cleared my head and can think even more positively for him and be a better support for my mom. Someone should tell people about the positive effects of working out (haha). And just to brag a bit more ('cause I'm on a roll) I'm on day eight without soda! I was averaging about one every five days, but currently I'm at eight. My dad's hospital stay will be a good test of my soda craving since it's definitely a comfort food for me. But I didn't have one yesterday or today, so I'm feeling good about it. And even if I do - it's one soda and I'll start again. Again - who am I?
I'm a girl on a mission! And I only have nine minutes to get to bed only one hour late, so I'm done for tonight. Please send good thoughts and prayers my dad's way and hopefully soon I'll be able to give a good report from both of us!
Monday, June 4, 2012
Let's Try This Again
I sit here wondering what the best way to start is. It's been so long that I think that some sort of explanation is in order - although I'm not sure it is. Maybe I should set up my new plan about my intention to blog more regularly. Maybe I should start with a "let's bring you up to date on me" post. Then it occurred to me - just start typing! So you'll probably get a bit of all of the above (although not a complete "bring you up to date" - that would take hours upon hours, which I don't have).
I guess what I really want to start with is that I'm still doing The Happiness Project and I still love it! I've had some months that were better than others. Not that I didn't like the focus of certain months, just that I wasn't as dedicated. I realized (you're going to be shocked) that if I actually write down what I'm going to focus on, I do a much better job. I have two Happiness groups going and sometimes life it too crazy and I pick my subject for the month too last minute and make up my goals for the month on the fly. That doesn't seem to work too well for me. However, the months that I take the time to re-read the chapter that I'm working on, write down my goals and maybe make a scrapbook page to signify that month, I do amazingly well.
Last month was a complete success! I revisited the first chapter about vitality. I had gotten out of the habit of going to bed on time and that had been the only thing that had really stuck. The biggest problem I find with bedtime this time is my schedule with my kids was so crazy (last month of school) that they were going to bed later and I really need a bit of downtime between their bedtime and mine. I did ok, but I'm worried about summer since their bedtime is later. None-the-less, I made huge improvements in this area - getting to bed between 10:30 & 11:00 (my goal is 10:00) vs. between 11:30 & 1:00.
My next task was giving up soda. I'm not a diet soda kind of girl but I know how bad the real thing is for me. I've kicked the habit a couple of times before, but this time it just wasn't working out. So instead of my all or nothing approach (which usually works for me) I decided to take baby steps. Just go one day without it. Then the next week, go two days. I'm happy to report that currently, I've only had a soda every five days. I'm trying not to say that I'll never have one again (then I'll want it too badly) but the longer I can go in between, the better I'm feeling.
The biggest thing I accomplished, however - is that I joined a gym near my house. First of all what you need to know is that I would never say I'm a gym girl. Next what you need to know is that this particular gym is outrageously priced (in my opinion) and I'm not overjoyed with paying that amount of money "just to work out." So here's why I did. I had asked one of my friends if she thought the price is too much. Her answer was, "If you go, no amount of money is too much for your health." Ok - good answer. So that helps out with the money part. Plus, I decided that I would give myself three months. If I didn't use it enough for me to justify the price, I would stop (nice thing about this gym - no contract). That's the first part.
The second part is that everyone I know goes to this gym! Ok - there might be one or two of my friends who don't go there, but almost everyone else. Being the social person that I am, my thought process is that if I can go with a friend, I'm more likely to go. Even if I can't schedule something with a friend, there's a good possibility that I'll run into someone I know - which will make for a pleasant experience while I'm there.
Lastly, the child care is active-based. My kiddos won't just be plopped in front of a movie - they'll be moving. One of my goals is to get fitness ingrained in my children's lives so they're not struggling with it at 40 like I am. Plus, if my friends are there - so are their friends. Built in play-date. Yay me!
Well, I am happy to report that I started May 3rd and in the month of May I went to the gym eleven times. I did some sort of other exercise (hiking and such) eight days in May. Of the eleven days at the gym, I worked out by myself only three times - so the whole friend thing is a huge plus. Again, summertime worries me a bit. Don't get me wrong, my kids love, love, love the gym. However, in May I did go several times while they were at school. I hope they love it as much when they're going multiple times per week.
I also had a garage sale and was able to purge some stuff and I've finally (with help from a friend) put some bigger items on Craigslist. Of course, my goal it to continue with the workouts and the reduced soda intake. In a month or two, I think I'll do vitality again and focus more on healthy food, but for now it's time to move on.
This month I'm working on my passions. Hence - this post. One of the things Gretchen has said recently (or maybe it's not recently - but I just read it) is if you're having trouble getting something done, do it every day. At first, I thought that was a silly thing to try. If I can't get it done weekly, how on Earth am I going to get it done daily? Well, I've been doing it with the picking up of dog poo and it seems to be working out (if you know me, you know how huge that is) so I'm going to try it with my passions as well. That doesn't necessarily mean I'll blog everyday, since scrapbooking and hiking are also on my list of passions. But it won't be months again before I post something. I'm also wanting to research what else I might be passionate about. I have a ton of things I'd like to try, so I'm going to pick one or two of them and see if anything sticks.
And as I pause to re-read what I've written, it turns out that the "just start typing" thing was a good idea. I didn't focus on any of the things that I was originally thinking - not in detail anyway. But this was just what I needed: to focus on my happiness, to write it down. I think that means for June - I'm off to a great start!!!
I guess what I really want to start with is that I'm still doing The Happiness Project and I still love it! I've had some months that were better than others. Not that I didn't like the focus of certain months, just that I wasn't as dedicated. I realized (you're going to be shocked) that if I actually write down what I'm going to focus on, I do a much better job. I have two Happiness groups going and sometimes life it too crazy and I pick my subject for the month too last minute and make up my goals for the month on the fly. That doesn't seem to work too well for me. However, the months that I take the time to re-read the chapter that I'm working on, write down my goals and maybe make a scrapbook page to signify that month, I do amazingly well.
Last month was a complete success! I revisited the first chapter about vitality. I had gotten out of the habit of going to bed on time and that had been the only thing that had really stuck. The biggest problem I find with bedtime this time is my schedule with my kids was so crazy (last month of school) that they were going to bed later and I really need a bit of downtime between their bedtime and mine. I did ok, but I'm worried about summer since their bedtime is later. None-the-less, I made huge improvements in this area - getting to bed between 10:30 & 11:00 (my goal is 10:00) vs. between 11:30 & 1:00.
My next task was giving up soda. I'm not a diet soda kind of girl but I know how bad the real thing is for me. I've kicked the habit a couple of times before, but this time it just wasn't working out. So instead of my all or nothing approach (which usually works for me) I decided to take baby steps. Just go one day without it. Then the next week, go two days. I'm happy to report that currently, I've only had a soda every five days. I'm trying not to say that I'll never have one again (then I'll want it too badly) but the longer I can go in between, the better I'm feeling.
The biggest thing I accomplished, however - is that I joined a gym near my house. First of all what you need to know is that I would never say I'm a gym girl. Next what you need to know is that this particular gym is outrageously priced (in my opinion) and I'm not overjoyed with paying that amount of money "just to work out." So here's why I did. I had asked one of my friends if she thought the price is too much. Her answer was, "If you go, no amount of money is too much for your health." Ok - good answer. So that helps out with the money part. Plus, I decided that I would give myself three months. If I didn't use it enough for me to justify the price, I would stop (nice thing about this gym - no contract). That's the first part.
The second part is that everyone I know goes to this gym! Ok - there might be one or two of my friends who don't go there, but almost everyone else. Being the social person that I am, my thought process is that if I can go with a friend, I'm more likely to go. Even if I can't schedule something with a friend, there's a good possibility that I'll run into someone I know - which will make for a pleasant experience while I'm there.
Lastly, the child care is active-based. My kiddos won't just be plopped in front of a movie - they'll be moving. One of my goals is to get fitness ingrained in my children's lives so they're not struggling with it at 40 like I am. Plus, if my friends are there - so are their friends. Built in play-date. Yay me!
Well, I am happy to report that I started May 3rd and in the month of May I went to the gym eleven times. I did some sort of other exercise (hiking and such) eight days in May. Of the eleven days at the gym, I worked out by myself only three times - so the whole friend thing is a huge plus. Again, summertime worries me a bit. Don't get me wrong, my kids love, love, love the gym. However, in May I did go several times while they were at school. I hope they love it as much when they're going multiple times per week.
I also had a garage sale and was able to purge some stuff and I've finally (with help from a friend) put some bigger items on Craigslist. Of course, my goal it to continue with the workouts and the reduced soda intake. In a month or two, I think I'll do vitality again and focus more on healthy food, but for now it's time to move on.
This month I'm working on my passions. Hence - this post. One of the things Gretchen has said recently (or maybe it's not recently - but I just read it) is if you're having trouble getting something done, do it every day. At first, I thought that was a silly thing to try. If I can't get it done weekly, how on Earth am I going to get it done daily? Well, I've been doing it with the picking up of dog poo and it seems to be working out (if you know me, you know how huge that is) so I'm going to try it with my passions as well. That doesn't necessarily mean I'll blog everyday, since scrapbooking and hiking are also on my list of passions. But it won't be months again before I post something. I'm also wanting to research what else I might be passionate about. I have a ton of things I'd like to try, so I'm going to pick one or two of them and see if anything sticks.
And as I pause to re-read what I've written, it turns out that the "just start typing" thing was a good idea. I didn't focus on any of the things that I was originally thinking - not in detail anyway. But this was just what I needed: to focus on my happiness, to write it down. I think that means for June - I'm off to a great start!!!
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