Ok, ok - get your mind out of the gutter! I'm guessing that's where it is because that's where mine went the first time that was said to me - even in the very serious conversation I was having. I was at an AMAZING two day seminar and in the middle of the discussion about being taken care of vs. taking care of myself. I was working through doing the yucky things that I always pawned off on my ex as well as providing for myself. I was struggling with "I can't take care of myself." Of course I can!!! Then I was struggling with "I can take care of myself." It just wasn't strong enough. (Plus "can" is one of those futuristic words. It sounds really positive because it's the opposite of the negative, but it's still a word that could end up meaning "I can, but I'm not.") In my frustration, I got distracted by another conversation in which my friend was apprehensive of going back to school because "It's too hard." This was the missing key in my dilemma. It's not really that I can't do the yucky things, it's not that I can't provide for myself, it's just that to do those things - especially considering how long I haven't done those things - is really hard!!! So I asked the woman leading the seminar how she would word it and she said, "How about 'I do hard?'"
It was very empowering. Sure! That makes sense. I can do hard. (oops - there's that word "can" again) I was all pumped up and ready to take on the world. And if I may pat myself on the back for a minute, I have accomplished quite a bit since that seminar. However.... you knew that was coming..... it's so easy to get worn down. It's so easy to feel like there's so much on your plate that something's got to give. It's so easy to choose.... easy!
I was at the hospital yesterday with my family while my sister was having a surgery. A few of us were talking about some of the tough things each of us have been going through lately and the talk was dwindling down and the end comment was, "It's just all so hard!" And that's when the question came to me - why is that??? Why is it that it seems like everything is so crazy hard? Excuse me, not everything, all of the bad things are easy. But let's take something vague - like "doing the right thing." How often is that easy? Yes, it may be the easy "choice" because we all know right from wrong. But how often is following through on that choice easy? I don't know about you, but lately for me, it's been really difficult. And if I'm honest, I've taken the "easy" way. Of course, because I am basically a good person, eventually I realize that I can't keep taking the "easy" way and then "hard" is even harder!!!
Unfortunately, I have no good answers as to why the right things are always hard. Or how to make them easier. I'm just throwing it out there. Once, just once, I'd love to be able to say, "This is the right thing to do. And it was so easy!!!" However, until that happens - even when I don't want to - I do hard!
No comments:
Post a Comment