Three weeks ago, the pastor at my church announced that because of medical reasons, he would be stepping down. As he was making the announcement, the tears started to roll and only stopped periodically for the rest of the day. I've spent the past few weeks trying not to think about it because every time I do, it makes me so sad. Well, today is his last day leading us in worship, so I guess it's time to think about it.
I grew up with religion, so this isn't the first time I've had to go through a change in a church. It is, however, the first time that I've been so sad about it. I was raised Catholic and was never close to any of the priests. Two and a half years ago, on a recommendation from a friend, I signed my girls up for vacation bible school at a Lutheran church. The pastor only spoke to me two times that week - but I could tell you what he said to me in both conversations. I liked him from the moment I met him.
We went to services that Sunday because the kids from VBS were going to sing the songs they had learned that week. As we walked out, several people introduced themselves to us. It felt so warm and welcoming. I realize that some of my friends would have hated that. They'd prefer to slide in and slide out unnoticed. I used to prefer that too - but this was so much better. The pastor invited me back and the next week, since Mike had the girls, I went by myself.
The pastor's sermon seemed like it was written for me. Furthermore, he was so engaging! I've sat through my share of sermons when I had to work hard to concentrate to pay attention. Not so with him. The other thing that seemed amazing to me (although this is how it should be) was that he seemed to be passionate about what he was preaching. It wasn't just something he was reading or had memorized, like he had said it so many times it had become monotone - he truly believed! And wanted to share his passion with us - with me!
As I walked out to my car, I paused in the courtyard for a moment, took a deep breath and thought, "I'm home!"
I had stopped going to church a few years back and had tried several times to find a new church. None of them - not even the church I grew up in - had this feeling for me. It was amazing, like God was just waiting there for me - waiting for me to come home.
Over the next few months I had several conversations with the pastor. He explained the differences between being Catholic and being Lutheran, he gave me insight on the history of the church and he answered my questions. I loved those conversations! First of all, I grew up learning rules and do's and don'ts, but I had never learned about the history. I heard the readings at church on Sunday, but had never read the Bible myself. I actually started reading it a couple of years ago, but he really helped me to see the Word. It's like the light went on when I truly got the concept of grace, when it clicked that we're all sinners and forgiven through Jesus.
I could go on and on with my many "a-ha moments", but one of the best parts was him - my pastor. He didn't meet with me because he had to or because it was just part of his job. He didn't answer my questions with mundane, rehearsed answers. He talked with me, he was patient when I didn't understand, and he taught me with examples that were relevant to my life. I commented to him once that he was the draw for me to come to that church and he replied, "You never choose a church for the pastor."
Now that he is stepping down, I realize that he is right - and sometimes wrong. He's right in that the pastor is not the reason you should choose a church because he could leave that church on any given day for any given reason. However, he's also wrong because I know that he's the reason I came back to that church after VBS. His willingness to explain the differences to me, to answer my questions, to engage my children in services, to invite me to Bible study and my girls to Sunday school, to teach me the meaning of forgiveness and share his love of God with me - he's the reason I went back.
He's not the reason I'll stay. That church truly is my home! I felt it. I know it. I treasure it. I love the people there and I will be forever thankful that he was there inviting me to stay. I might have found it anyway. But I might have left after VBS Sunday and not come back. I'm sure he'd say that he's not the reason, that God's the reason I finally found my way home. And he's right. God had him in the right place at the right time to help me find my way.
So thank you Pastor! Thank you for being such an important part of my journey! I will be praying for your healing and your happiness and thanking God every day for having blessed me with your friendship.
May the Lord bless you and keep you; May the Lord make His face shine upon you, and be gracious unto you; May the Lord lift up His countenance on you, and give you Peace.
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