I read an article this morning about a woman who was going through tremendous emotional growth. Unfortunately, it came at a very busy time in her work life. She was struggling with the fact that this growth took up time that should have been spent working on a project. Although I'm not working and I currently have no deadlines, I definitely sympathize with her. Recently, I have been working on some deep set issues of my own and I can easily say it is time consuming! I decide that I'm going to "sit in the emotion" of whatever the issue is (fully thinking this will only take a little while) and two to three hours later, I emerge from my room exhausted. Usually there has been crying, frustration and sometimes anger. Almost always, I will have come across at least one a-ha moment and I do feel like I've grown. However, like the woman I mentioned, I do start to think about all of the things that I "could have" accomplished in that time.
I didn't realize it until I read that article, but here's the thing that I'm most disturbed about. Why is our emotional growth not important? I would bet that quite a few people I know would think I was nuts if they knew how much time I've spent "sitting in emotion" in the past few months. Here's the thing - it's so amazing! I am constantly shocked at the number of times I react to something without even knowing why. Most of the time, the reaction has nothing to do with the actual situation - weird - or is it? It is amazingly empowering to look back at a reaction that I had only thirty minutes ago and figure out why my reaction was so strong. (or so wrong) Awareness is the first step. If you can figure out why you do the things you do, you can change them. Or not! That's the beauty - it's up to you!
Wow! To be able to choose who you want to be! I have spent years and years saying, "That's just who I am." It wasn't an untrue statement. But when "who you are" is someone you don't like - change it! That's so easy to say. But it is crazy difficult to do. The secret is that the most difficult part of that change is if you don't know why you're doing it in the first place, so figuring that out is key. Only after the knowledge comes can the change begin. Voila - growth! And no, my house still isn't vacuumed. It's all about the choices we make.
As for the timing - the woman being frustrated that her growth didn't come at a great time - when is there ever a good time? When does anyone say, "I'd like to take hours, days or months to do something that is going to take away from everything else in my life?" The answer is never! No one ever says that. Especially something that is difficult. Especially something that you can't casually say to a co-worker who you're sure hasn't had a day of emotional growth in their life. Especially something that some could mistake for selfishness or laziness. My opinion? The timing is always perfect! It doesn't matter what you're going through or how busy you are. Deep emotional issues are indeed difficult and if you're not ready to deal with them, they won't rear their little heads. They come when you're ready. They come when you need them.
Trust me - I don't always like going through all of the tough stuff any more than the next person. What I do like is being a grown up. I like not reacting to something like I did when I was 19. I like taking pause and deciding the best way to handle something. Yes, it's hard, but I can honestly tell you that whenever I cave to what's easy, I always wish I could turn back time and handle it differently. That makes it worth it!
Situations and people and feelings are put in front of us as opportunities. I couldn't begin to name all of the possibilities, but when it comes to the opportunity for growth....no matter how difficult it is....I am indeed grateful!
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